carving itself again at 7:15 AM
carving itself again at 9:27 PM
carving itself again at 3:47 PM
jonas went home earlier this morning
he should be somewhere in auckland in transit for his next flight to malaysia
so now left teresa and me in this house....
anyways....i'm cooking ba kut teh now
i hope it turns out edible....
today seems like a cold day
good day for something hot and soupy!
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
and wanted to make cupcakes
then i wanted to go get the ingredients
maybe a trial session...see how the cupcakes turn out
that sudden excitement
but now
i thought to myself
after making all these cupcakes
who's gonna appreciate them
no one's gonna eat them
or should i say most would end up in my stomach
what's the use
then i'll feel bloody guilty for eating all those cupcakes
and hate myself for it
hell.
anyways i've been feeling like a much older person nowadays
not that i want to
but i can't help it
i feel i'm in a position of responsibility for certain reasons
i have to worry
i have many things to worry about
maybe sometimes more than i should
and a lot of times this worrying habit of mine...
it's not good for me
i think too much
i'm still learning to not think unnecessarily
sometimes i worry for myself....sometimes i worry for other people
then i start thinking....i should have done this....i shouldn't have done that....but i can't do that...
but usually after the whole maze in my mind, i end up blaming myself for everything
it's all my fault...i say to myself
i need to treat myself better
if not i might just go mental
i mean seriously mental
there i go again
i'm worrying again
i'm missing out on life
i need to treat myself better.
i need to learn to appreciate myself.
HA! or else one day i'm gonna go bonkers...
but before i end this post
to one who has a certain owl-ly habit
i hope you are reading this
i'm not your mum
and i don't intend to be one
but i am responsible
and i worry
and as mentioned earlier, i can't help it to worry
you are not little, you are intelligent, responsible
you have the right to do whatever you want
and i respect that
and i hate to tell people what they can or cannot do
i'm not angry
it's usually just worry and it gets expressed in a weird way
so please
i hope you understand
Thursday, December 11, 2008
i hope i get to collect them soonthen i could try out AutoCADAutoCAD...something crucial in this fieldbut i hardly know anything about itit's also difficult to find short CAD courses here in christchurch....why why why?!?!?!?!?i guess i'll have to try to learn it myselfi have to be honestthis lack of knowledge of AutoCADmakes me worry for my future studio lessonsand i need to get better at perspective drawingit's difficult! and i think i suck at it!time flies.....mid-dec alreadysoon i'll be the only one left in this housewondering what i'll be up tooh i also started a new jobpart-time cleaning in the evening on campuswhat can i say?a student has a small budgetand it's the most convenient temp jobsince lincoln in located in such a ulu placehaving a job on campus saves on transporti've also been thinking about transporta car to be exacti dunno if my flatmates will be getting a car next year....but my laychey course seems to need itcos lincoln is located in such an ulu placeand public transport here is not as convenient like the ones in singaporetaxi is super ex here too!hai.....oh have been cooking quite a bit nowadaysusually some meat with lots of greensyesterday i also had the time to 'paint' my erm....homemade curtainswell i kinda just splattered paint all over the fabrichaha.....but who cares...i like the designright didn't i mention i wanted to paint last time?